It's amazing how in a
few short months everything can change.
Hikari in her apartment in Reynire, the view from her window
is dominated by a Moros-Class Dreadnaught. The Evangeline.
How did I get here?
Was it boredom or sense of longing? I woke up one day after moving to Kinakka
and realised just how shit my life is. My footnote in history will be one of
needless violence and wanton destruction. Two years of following my brother to
the Angel's Cartel after being liberated
from Nation.
In that time. I
tortured, killed and enslaved in the name of fun and profit. Most nights
involved a mountain of crash and swimming pool worth of mindflood. I wasn't the
only one, the Cartel is filled with types like me. Uncaring about the rest of
humanity as long as they are comfy in their own little world. If the cluster
wasn't filled with people like this, maybe I would have chosen a different
course. But who else do I go to. The Federation which is a Cartel-lite? The
State where having a xenophobic and deranged leader is okay for as long as it
suits them? The Empire who enslave under the guise of Faith? Or the Republic
who are happy to carry on the cycle of Vengeance forever? No, my time in the
cluster has taught me one lesson. Humanity doesn't deserve what it has. And so
I am back with Nation.
And so, I have been
spending the last month and a half flying under the True Slave Foundations
banner. Being the loyal Centii and making myself useful where I can. It has
been a ride, a sense of purpose returning to me that I have thought long lost.
I figured that certain people wouldn't take it too well, Vincent foremost.
Well, I haven't spoken to my brother since and I doubt I ever will. Others have
been predictably and hilariously hypocritical.
Evangeline was
shocked, I think. But didn't reject me straight up. I promised to never change
to her, never stop loving her. A promise I've kept and now we are on the verge
of breaking up. My integration into TSF's network seems to be the package that
cracked the cargo bay. In hindsight, I should have told her. I thought not
telling her was the better option. 'She'll see that I haven't changed.' I told
myself. Well, she found out somehow. Words were exchanged, then I got the silent
treatment.
'How do I know it's
you' she asks. Have I really changed that much? No one has mentioned this to
me, I don't feel different. I still love her, I still want to be with her. But
words, and indeed behaviour, is not enough it seems. So I am stuck.
The Network.. It isn't
something I can describe. Having the guys in the back of my head is a strange
feeling, sure. But they aren't watching.
We share everything with each other but that doesn't mean we spy on each other.
When one of us is happy, we can feel it. And then we have the Digiscape.. which
is.. Amazing.
I've been given an
ultimatum by Evangeline. The Network or Her. The one I love versus my ideal and
purpose. I've been integrated for three weeks and the feeling of losing it
gives me a sense that I'll be losing a limb, never to be returned.
And so I escape, into
my mind as I used to before. Only this time it is more vivid. Decisions are
ahead, and either one I choose do not end well.
